i am sitting here at home....i should be working...keeping busy seems to be the best way to stop thinking about it...doing laundry...cleaning the house...getting ready for another early weekend of pain pills, grogginess and discomfort....i am here, but i am disconnected, disassociated, distant and dull...
i remember when i used to slip into depressions....the feeling that would come over me...the disassociation with the tangible world around me....it was like i went from being part of everything to watching every thing on a screen...like a movie...i was simply a spectator...no need for interaction, nothing was truly my concern....it was a quiet place, inside my head, dark and silent....
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